A page from the diary

People often say that time heals wounds and that one needs to be patient,that time is the best medicine for everything,that time will show us where life will lead. Well I've learnt to be patient,something that time has only taught me but now I feel like my patience has been exhausted. We are often asked to change with time - "go with the flow" which some people find really difficult to do as they are bound by their own limitations of a self made world of inhibitions and norms. I remember as a kid I've never been open to changes or atleast that is the picture that mom has always been giving me. Whenever I was asked for something,my answer would be a sharp NO. I guess over time it had become an autonomous answer for me for most of the things and then developed into a habit without realization. Stubborness is something that goes parallel with me and yet surprisingly I can be very flexible for certain things.

                      Change is good,it opens doors to novelty which in turn gives way to experience and leads one to explore and eventually decide. I think while growing,there is a lot happening at once. Although it seems like a gradual process,it does have some amount of turbulence and eventually we all learn to accept changes and make room for adjustments. However I believe that certain things do not change over time - no matter how old you get! For me,everything that was intimate to me since childhood has stayed the same so far,maybe the order of their priority has changed now. An important part of growth are relations. I've always looked at relatioins as plants. When you build a relation it is out of a seed sown which gradually grows into a sapling and then into a healthy plant. Love is something you develop over time and relation is what grows gradually,this is a natural flow of germination for me and anything against it simply disrupts everything and seems most unacceptable.

                                              At times I get so possessive about my ideal world that I tend to go against the flow of the conventional ideals. Sometimes the abrupt jolts tend to make me stutter because I'm not prepared for it,not prepared for the real. Sometimes ending something forever is better than coming to terms with reality. When a certain thing does cease to exist,it gets easier to cope than to deal with the complexities it offers otherwise. Maybe it is an escape,an elopement with your ideals but for now atleast it seems like the best way out.